Common Fears in Motherhood: You Are Not Alone
Motherhood comes with many fears, which, of course, depend on your stage. Some of them are more specific to first-time moms and early stages, while others are evergreen.
If you’re experiencing fears in motherhood, the first thing you need to know is that you’re not alone. Fears in motherhood are very common, but this doesn’t mean that you have to live in fear.
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Motherhood can be a scary transition because your life will never be the same when you become a mom. What nobody tells you is that motherhood is also an incredible opportunity for growth and transformation. Unfortunately, the narrative in this patriarchal society is focused on fear and disempowering women, especially mothers. It’s important to be aware of common fears in motherhood because awareness is key, but we need to empower moms and bring back attention to feminine power.
In this blog post, I want to raise awareness of common fears so you can identify them if they show up, know how common they are, and know that you’re not alone. In the following posts, we’ll discuss what happens if you don’t address these fears and how to overcome them. My intention with my work as a mom coach and spiritual healer is to teach you how to overcome fears in motherhood through the power of intuitive tools and energy healing. For every fear in motherhood listed below, I’ll add a quick tip to support you in your motherhood journey.
Common fears in motherhood (first-time mom)
Keeping your child alive
This is the most common fear in motherhood mentioned by pregnant women. In addition to giving birth and fear of pain, the next thought goes to survival. Because nobody teaches you how to be a mom, the fear of not being able to keep your child alive after birth can be overwhelming, and in some cases, it can cause intrusive thoughts. I’ve been through this, so if you’re experiencing intrusive thoughts related to your child’s survival, know that it’s just thoughts. Let them go by without attaching meaning to them.
Dealing with changes
Many changes occur in the female body during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, from physical to hormonal, mental, and emotional. In addition to this, your life and everyday habits go through a radical change. This can cause anxiety. Begin with accepting where you are in the present moment and know that it’s temporary. Acceptance of this rite of passage is key to dealing with these changes. Then, open up to ask for help if needed.
Grieving old identity
When you become a mom, your life will never be the same. But motherhood is unlike other significant life events, like graduation and marriage. Motherhood is death and rebirth for a woman. The day a child is born, it’s also the day the mother is born. It’s okay to grieve your old life. Feeling your grief is essential to overcome it. Allow yourself to be with your grief and express it. It’s good to cry and let it out. It will pass. You’re not this grief. Let it come and go as a teacher.
Common fears in motherhood (evergreen)
While the fears in motherhood mentioned above are more about the early stages of motherhood, some fears may persist throughout your whole motherhood journey. These may show up from time to time or become chronic and affect your mental and emotional health.
Not being enough
You're afraid that you aren't a good mom and that you'll ruin the lives of your children. There’s no manual of instructions for motherhood, and parenting experts don’t exist. Motherhood is a personal experience that can only be fulfilling when you learn to become aware of your challenges and accept them, do inner work, listen to your intuition, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, and try your best every day. There’s no formula, but this is a quick recap of what it takes to be happy in motherhood. More on this later.
Losing yourself
You feel that you're sacrificing too much of yourself in motherhood. You're afraid that you will lose yourself. It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood, not just because it comes as an instinct to put your child before your needs but also because of societal pressure. I'm afraid I have to disagree with this narrative. I put my children first, but I also put myself first because the lesson I learned going through my postpartum depression and anxiety is that if the mom is not happy, her children are not happy either.
Losing control
As much as we like saying “my child,” children are not ours. They don’t belong to us. They are sovereign beings, and we can’t control them. In some way or another, we often want control in motherhood, whether for how long they sleep or what they eat, but that’s now how motherhood goes. Most of the time, we have to release control, and this can be scary because we have to accept the unknown.
If my words resonate, I invite you to join me in the Empress Mama, where moms prioritize themselves, activate their feminine power and intuition, and make the best decisions for themselves and their families to create new legacies.
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